THE GOLDENBOY SAGA

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Horse Farm

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Horse Farm

Original ad:
I am a 18 year old looking for a summer job. it is hard for me to find work and I just want a job so I can afford a car for college next summer. I can clean, babysit, answer phones, pretty much whatever as long as it pays!!

From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org
Hey,

I saw your ad looking for work and I think I have a job for you! I am looking for an assistant on my farm for the summer. It will involve working outdoors. Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
Hi Mike! I am interested in your job! I love animals and used to ride horses so a farm would be great! what kind of work would I be doing, and where is your farm located? it needs to be close to ******** so my parents can drop me off and pick meup

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,

It is very close to **********. I’m glad to hear you are familiar with horses, because you will be primarily working with horses.

My farm gets all the old horses that other farms don’t need anymore, and they are starting to take up a lot of room in my stable, which I want to turn into a garage for my new truck. Therefore, the horses need to go. As my assistant, you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm.

I used to have a captive bolt pistol (cattle gun) that I used to put them down, but it broke when I tried to use it to tap a keg. You’ll probably have to use my 12-gauge shotgun to put them down. Sometimes they don’t die right away when you shoot them, and will start freaking out. You just have to stay calm and keep shooting. Don’t worry, I’ll show you how to use the shotgun if you aren’t familiar with one.

You then need to use my chainsaw to cut the horses into smaller parts that you can carry down to the lake. It can get a little messy, so I suggest wearing some clothes that you don’t care about, or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment.

The lake isn’t mine, it is my neighbor’s. He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake, so you have to make sure he isn’t around when you do it. I have some cinderblocks you can use to weigh the horses down so he won’t see them.

I have a lot of horses, and each horse takes about an hour and a half to dispose of, so you should have plenty of work. The job will pay $15 an hour. When can you start?

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
omg that is HORRIBLE! That is truely awful and sick!! Why cant you just give the poor horses away? sorry but I am not helping you slaughter horses!!!

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,

I’m sorry if you are a bit surprised, but this is how farms work. You can’t give away old horses, you have to kill them. I thought about it, and if you don’t want to use the chainsaw to cut up the horses, you can just use my truck to drag them down to the lake. Do you have your license or permit? If not, this could be good driving practice for you. You don’t want to pass up on this great job opportunity.

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
No that is not how farms work you are just SICK! I am NOT interested

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie you are going to regret this some day when you try to get a real job. I think this would look great on your resume.


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Written by Brando P

February 11, 2010 at 2:57 AM

Posted in Funny Read

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Best Knife Kill in Modern Warfare 2

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Written by Brando P

January 25, 2010 at 11:57 PM

Posted in Cool Clips, Games

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Arrogant Call of Duty: World at War Kill

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Written by Brando P

January 6, 2010 at 11:29 PM

Crazy Modern Warfare 2 Knife Throw Kill

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pWned!

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Written by Brando P

November 20, 2009 at 9:58 AM

Posted in Cool Clips, Games

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Dress to Kill- Eddie Izzard [Stand-Up]

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Written by Brando P

October 21, 2009 at 9:29 AM

Posted in Funny Clips

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Flip-Flops Will Kill You

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In a study reported by MSNBC, wearing flip-flops could be a dangerous thing. Scientists are finding traces of Staphylococcus Aureus, a deadly disease,  on most flip-flops. Shit will get to your feet if you leave it exposed, literally.

“These bacteria detected indicate obviously that feces, urine, spit, vomit, animal droppings were all present,” Tierno told TODAY. “That is what’s on the streets of a big city and in public bathrooms … Think about what’s on the ground we walk on in New York City. There’s rat-doo and cockroaches, and they’re harbingers of all sorts of germs.”

It makes sense, but the report also said to not be alarmed and just use your best judgment. Temporary usage should be fine. “They are nice for the beach and the pool and perhaps even in your home. … [scientist] thought is they should be worn temporarily. There is a place for them.”

Written by Brando P

August 19, 2009 at 12:56 AM

Posted in Random News

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