THE GOLDENBOY SAGA

Rants, Random News, and Funny Clips

Jokes- GET LUCKY WITH WIFE – POINT SYSTEM

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GET LUCKY WITH WIFE – POINT SYSTEM (You will appreciate it a lot if you are married)

SIMPLE DUTIES

– You make the bed (+1)
– You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
– You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

– You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
– In the rain (+8)
– But return with Beer (-5)
– You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
– You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
– You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
– You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
– It’s her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

– You stay by her side the entire party (0)
– You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a
college buddy (-2)
– Named Tina (-4)
– Tina is a dancer (-10)

HER BIRTHDAY

– You take her out to dinner (0)
– You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
– Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)
– And it’s all-you-can- eat night (-3)
– It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can- eat night, and your face is
painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

– You take her to a movie (+2)
– You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
– You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
– You take her to a movie you like (-2)
– It’s called ‘DeathCop’ (-3)
– You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

– You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
– You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
– You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
– You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)

ENJOY THE ‘BIG’ QUESTION

– She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
– You hesitate in responding (-10)
– You reply, “Where?” (-35)
– Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

– When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned _____expression (0)
– You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
– You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
– She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

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Written by Brando P

June 11, 2010 at 8:44 AM

Posted in Funny Read

Tagged with ,

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